One evening I received a phone call from a good friend of mine who had come to Atlanta for a work assignment. He told me where he was staying and we made plans to meet later that evening.
I finally made my way to his hotel room and we greeted each other with the usual hand shake and hug. “What’s going on with you man? Long time no see-what’s the business?’ I asked with a smile. “I’m here with the job; so you know I had to holler at yah.” “I’m glad you did. How’s the family,” I asked? He hesitated for a second, with a blank look on his face as if I should have known something. “I guess you haven’t heard that the wife and I are separated.”
I was shocked. I always felt he and his wife were soul mates as they had been together since childhood. “What the hell happened?” I asked. “Let me finish up real quick in the bathroom and I tell you the whole story on our way out.” He said walking toward the bathroom.
As I sat in his room waiting, I couldn’t help but wonder what could have possibly caused this marriage to fail. From the outside they seemed to have the perfect marriage. They had been together since junior high. They were the epitome of soul mates coming together forming one union. They had the relationship everyone envied at least those that I knew. I especially felt bad for him because his wife was not only beautiful and smart but I believe had never been tainted by being in the arms of another man something for which every man yearns. She had been with him all of her young life. As his girlfriend, there were times she was forced into viscous battles with other females trying to intrude in her relationship. But they were able to get past those situations. They went off to different colleges, were able to graduate, get back together, get married and start a family. One of the most unprecedented things I have ever witnessed.
We got into the car when my friend said “Yeah man I thought you knew?” How would I know if you didn’t tell me?” I asked. “If it doesn’t come from your mouth to my ears I’m only going to believe half of it anyway.”
As we continued down the road he began telling me what took place to cause the separation. It was a somber ride. I had never witnessed him so subdued. No joking, no kidding around, just straight seriousness. “Russ, I still keep playing it around in my head. It feels like a bad dream. It’s like I’m stuck. I was having an affair with a chick at my job for about six months. I saw that it was getting too serious so I started trying to back out of it but she wasn’t having it.
One Sunday evening I was sitting at home with the family watching television when from my peripheral vision I saw someone walking up the side walk onto the porch. Once she came onto the steps I noticed who it was. “Get out!” I said.
“Yeah, it was this bitch. She just came up and knocked on the door.” “Man, why didn’t you jump up and knock her ass off the porch?” I said jokingly as we got out of the car. “I couldn’t man. I was like paralyzed. There was nothing that I could do. The wife was already headed toward the door and plus it all seemed to be happening in slow motion." We entered the bar and took a seat at the bar ordered two beers and he continued the story. "The girl handed my wife a letter and told her she needed to read it. She turned around and walked to her car. When my wife opened the letter and started reading it she went off. The worst part about it Russ, believe it or not, just a week earlier I had come to the realization that I really loved my wife and family and I wasn’t going to jeopardize losing either of them for some bullshit. This was going to be the last affair I was ever going to be involved in.” “Did you explain that to her?” I asked. “Yeah, but she wasn’t trying to hear that. She said she heard that before.” “Here’s what I suggest you do when you get back. Try to be extremely attentive and do all the things you did to get her. I believe you’ll be able to get back in, because she’s always let you get back in.” “Naw, Russ I don’t think so this time. There was something in her voice this time that was different than all the other times. And the thing that really bothers me the most is that one day she asked what did I gain from it? I couldn’t answer her.”
He paused after that statement with his beer in his hand and just stared across the bar in no particular direction. The music from the jute box filled the space.
When he finally came back to himself, he took another sip and mumbled. “Russ, I think this was the straw that broke the camel’s back”. He was correct. Unlike the times before; he was unable to resurrect his marriage. He lost everything that mattered in his life, his career, his home, his family, and his wife. Since then, everyone else involved has moved on but him. Now days he talks in past tense, of the way it was, the good ole days. He’s now a broken man, stuck in his mind with no place to go.
Fellas, the moral to this story is: If you have someone in your life that truly loves you for whom you are. Not for what you have or what you have evolved into, there is a good chance they could be your soul mate.
So, while you are on your quest, to conquer the ‘World of Ass’ ask yourself: “Is this fifteen or twenty minutes going to be worth jeopardizing the years of Trust, Loyalty and Love you have established?”
“What does it profit a man to gain the world yet lose his soul mate?
Yeah, you got a new world, but you ain't got nowhere to go—Mate!”